


Admitting insecurities

by IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart/pseuds/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart
Summary: Jumin's alone on day nine thinking about what's been on his mind lately.





	Admitting insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again ^.^
> 
> I'm just trying to get to grips with characters before I start writing longer fics.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :D
> 
> Please be aware that I'm dyslexic incase there's errors...

Jumin frowned as he stared into his long since warm coffee. ___ was alone in the penthouse whilst the hacker was still at large, not to mention Glam Choi and Sarah but for some reason that made him feel uneasy. Usually he wouldn't waste energy on such notions but something about ____ drew out these thoughts and feelings that he had never anticipated he would experience, especially since he'd known her little over a week.  
He could tell she was rather unique given that no else had ever effected in such a way that his mind was so utterly occupied elsewhere that his work was being hindered. Then in the RFA group chat when the others would poke fun at him, she would find him funny or call him cute. This body stirred each time, a warmth within his chest that he daren't label, though if he was honest, he knew what it was.

Assistant Kang had noticed. Her robotic voice kept catching him off guard encouraging him to focus so that she wasn't lumped with more work. It didn't help though. Nothing helped. He had to make sure ____ was safe for some peace of mind or he was certain that his easily distracted state would continue.

Everyday was becoming increasingly difficult. He knew ____ was keen to return to Rika's apartment to continue her RFA responsibilities but he couldn't bring himself to let her go. Not yet, at least. He felt an insistent need to keep her close, providing a level of safety that he knew only he could provide for her. He was stuck in an internal battle constantly reminding himself that ____ had her own life away from him, yet despite that, he wanted to keep her close, knowing her every whereabouts just to satisfy his own insecurities.

He'd finally thought it. For days he'd avoided the word in his mind, dancing around it. He was insecure. ____ had said she would stay close and had demonstrated continuously that she meant it but it didn't easy his fears. Unfortunately, the hacker, Glam Choice and Sarah weren't his only worries.

____ was the first person to ever understand him. V and Rika had come close, but ____ was so intuitive of his needs that he couldn't risk someone else taking her for their own. Given his newly awakened feelings, Jumin was certain he would crumble and ultimately recline back into his stoic state even more unfulfilled than before, with the shadow of his former happiness nothing but a deep scar.

As time went on his mind kept second guessing the other members intentions towards ____ too. He was almost certain Zen had feelings for her. It was the only logical reason he arrived at every time Zen tried to make him let ____ leave the penthouse. Jumin couldn't see ____ in Zen's arms, he just couldn't.

Then as each night passes the battle becomes harder. Ever since his dramatic kiss with ____ infront of Sarah, his feelings towards her had developed. He wanted to stick by his Christian values but he was weak to ____'s charm. All she had to do was be in close proximity and his body would react, whether it be fluttering or something more intimately inclined. 

As a result, he'd been praying more in the last few days than he had in recent years. Praying for ____'s and RFA's safety, for ____'s health, for their future, for the strength to resist his carnal desires. Without meaning to, he'd become selfish in a way he'd never foreseen. Saying a prayer that thanked God for blessing him with ____ entering his life had become a regular part of his life. If only it wasn't selfish to pray for her to join him in holy matrimony. He could still wish for it though.

Dancing with this thoughts was all consuming. A week ago he was content with only Elizabeth the 3rd as a companion but here he was now, wanting to make ____ his bride. To have and to hold. Having no idea whether ____ wants that too was driving him crazy. She was the one. That was the only thing he was certain about. 

A glance at the clock showed he had to go and meet with his father. An unfortunate task but it meant he would be one step closer to going home and seeing ____. 

Her smile at the end of the day was worth every second of working to provide her with the life she deserved.


End file.
